Happy New Year: What’s YOUR resolution?

Testing. Testing 1 2. Okay, I hope I have the ChatGPT settings right. New Year Memories and Salutations. Here goes. Processing. . . To be or not to be xg4n!E8#5nB#2^d* Oh well, I guess I’ll need to write this manually.

It’s been cold and wet. Happy New Year!

As an experienced procrastinator, I often wonder where to draw the line between on-time, late and too late. Deadlines apply to many things, including this post. As I’ve been drafting ideas to signify our calendar year advancing one more digit, the actual event has drifted further away. How long do I continue to collect and refine thoughts before I publish. Does ‘Happy New Year’ have a Publish By expiration? It’s elusive and circumstantial: when it is finished or when you are finished with it.

I read a post (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-of-stuck/202301/feeling-stuck-2-types-of-procrastination) on the topic of procrastination. The clinician suggested that the reason we procrastinate is due to the fight/flight/freeze response triggered by assaults on our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems by stresses in our lives. Depending on the stressor, the complementary systems serve to adjust automatic, involuntary responses. These responses make our bodies react to increase or decrease biological functions. It can be overwhelming to understand and negotiate the thoughts of what to ‘do’ to relieve the response, leading to distraction or paralysis.

‘What’s YOUR resolution?’ is a phrase I’ve pondered for years. A graphic makes it more visual (http://fab7.com/resolution.html). The phrase has multiple layers of meaning. ‘Resolution’ has measures, from how clearly you see things to the amount of sustained effort you exert to achieve a task, a step, a goal. How resolute are you? Without mentioning particulars, suffice it to say that I occasionally find myself in a battle for productivity. Making some effort, doing something if only I could grasp the immediate priorities. Recounting the words ‘What’s YOUR resolution?’ allows me to shift from battling myself to figuring out how to be more resolute in the moment.

This may be a good time to identify what’s important in a year-end reflection. It is a year end, but also a beginning. It’s an opportunity to say something about times ahead and times gone by. Is the topic more backward or forward thinking? Some people are forthright in a year-end summary, including work and life goals accomplished.

2023 will continue to be a year driven by the physics of our lifestyles. Fields of research are brimming with activity. In the past year, the supply chain of academics and institutions continued to feed the science that feeds the supply chain. The supply chain is impossible to visualize. The origins of most consumer goods are murky, some magical.

Direction of Reflection

A LinkedIn essay targets a professional network with a story. The story is built upon thoughts, ostensibly the thoughts of the writer. Writing and revision is a loop executed until the thoughts are clearly expressed as the ‘voice’ of the writer.

Reader, how do I relate to thee? Are these words passing through a retina, or a machine learning algorithm? Here’s where I see trouble. With plagiarism and shortcuts, ChatGPT and other AI, what guarantees that anyone puts effort into reaching “out.”

Perhaps the point is that reaching “out” is shallow. If you consider the dilution of energy from a source, it degrades exponentially. If instead you develop your direction “in,” your messages become more genuine as you communicate with yourself.

Wait, I’m Late

I have time to be self-directed. Immediate gratification becomes less important considering the amount of extra effort involved. An inner journey is rewarding. I’m fortunate to earn and approach my schedule on my terms. However, fewer deadlines, distractions and engagements has downsides.

I spend a lot of time in front of a computer. It’s easy to fall victim to the idea that EVERYTHING is on the Internet (not by a longshot). How much content do you consume that inspires you? This isn’t so much a treatise on content as it is on choice. In many instances, the content we really want is generated internally, as in reveries and emotions. I consider my experiences in the context of my journey. Someone with a horrible travel experience may elevate the event in significance while someone on a more banal trip may find more meaning in the destination.

I think I share many people’s observation that things are changing rapidly and we are wielding many heavy, blunt instruments of destruction. On the bright side, the technologies that connect us give us hope. I hope that our common humanity will benefit from higher values and respect. We should all be ambassadors for our tribes, however you define yours. Being an ambassador comes with a hitch. By definition it holds your character in the highest regard. If you are kind, warm and positive, you’re an ambassador.

Reel to Reel

Highlight reels are significant. Though once I start to compile one, it quickly goes off the rails when I try to separate those that are public spectacles, versus the ones that really affect me or have a more personal meaning. We can be mislead by public spectacles to look in one direction while the misdirection masks a confidence game going on.

It’s easy to be ‘out-of-the-loop’ on highlight reel spectacles. What is a highlight against endless breaking news about individuals and events? I consume junk culture. I have a limit, but I enjoy it occasionally. Sports spectacles are easy fixes.

Thinking ‘outside the box’ is about buttressing your worldview against the prevailing winds of pundits, preachers and popularity contests. What are the foundations of our mass media temples? I consume a stream of content that shapes my viewpoints and perspectives. Where this gets tricky, it is never THE TRUTH. I might find the the plights of Miley or Johnny have erupted as a narrative, but is processing the information a wise time investment? I could engage in a different focus of attention. It’s the Opportunity Cost of losing a choice for being occupied by another. You may not be in control of the collisions. Regardless of the situation, where you invest your attention contributes to forming who you are.

Our lives are rife with stimulating visual environments. This becomes a concern when our quest for novelty outstrips our desire for mindfulness. It’s no secret that there are corporate interests (and thus shareholders and employees) that rely on a steady stream of under-imaginative and under-intelligent actions based on peoples whims and desires. We all live in a continuum of ‘free’ expressions: sports, media, murders, wars. It’s not my desire nor capability to affect change other than being a source of wisdom/light/levity that people can engage in high-roading: imagining solutions to problems which strive to embed dignified human ideals.

Web3 Worlds

Web3 is a horizon. Just as the epoc of Web2 was imminent from the early days of the web, the next wave is coming, renewed by effort fomenting against data profit and control by large, centralized services. Decentralized, peer-to-peer connectivity has grown with an increase in usage and utility of cheaper, connected devices. There are fewer and fewer technical barriers to end-users creating (server) nodes. Is the stage set for a return to distributed serving?

Edge computing is already embedded in our extraordinarily powerful devices via apps and OSes. It’s my hope that smaller nodes of the network seize opportunities to grow and flourish with their communities. Perhaps I’m naive to think that we are headed toward a more heterogeneous landscape, but commoditization of computing and bandwidth provides opportunity. More and more workers are seeking to control their work relationships and products. Smaller nodes have a more personal/localized relationship with their stakeholders.

In the early 2000s I became the webmaster for Palo Alto Little League. This was at a time when the league was transitioning to a digital mentality and processes. I built their website from scratch into a multi-purpose team and league management tool for its members. I was responsible for the website between 2005 and 2017. I owned and configured the hardware serving pabaseball.org. Through this and other experiences supporting SMBs, I’ve gained skills and insights managing the personal, professional and technical relationships. As a consultant, I’m accountable to clients rather than customers. I still maintain multiple web servers. As a small node, each professional relationship and receivable matters immensely. Personal relationships can start from professional beginnings.

Metaverse Rules

An interview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60u9L5-YO9Q) with Neal Stephenson, who coined the word “metaverse” in the 1992 novel ‘Snow Crash’, catalyzed some of my thoughts and research on Web3 trends.

Digital Identities will become more and more important. Think about how many identities you manage at work and in your personal life. You have an orbit of relationships with people and businesses. Managing these relationships is part and parcel of life. Technology allows us to assemble around transactions more easily. I’m a proponent of meeting in a marketplace with traditions and rules. What digital identities will be featured in your lifestyle?

The metaverse is a digital landscape in simulated 3D. A 3D web is already here. The new frontier is being (re)explored today, the current renaissance driven by networking and processor advances. We will arrive at a true metaverse when each person is inviting others to explore virtual worlds they curate intimately (i.e. program/create). The virtual experience will tap visual and spatial sensibilities that differ from real world engagement. As much as a virtual experience aims to recreate one in the real, fleshy world, it NEVER will.

The 3D web is evolving as a metaverse of federated worlds. Islands are forming in cooperative and competitive alliances. I wonder about the future of livestream events. Who wants to spend money to be in a mosh pit of other fans in the metaverse? Am I buying a space with a constrained, programmed perspective of an arena and audience? A virtual embodiment can be allowed many degrees of freedom. In a metaverse built on profiting from vistor experiences, expect constraints, as value is created by scarcity. It costs real money to build virtual environments and theme parks with models that conform to laws of physics or imagination. Access will always be conditional to “walled gardens.” How will inclusive, low-barrier modes of entertainment be popularized in the metaverse? Dimension is simulated in every 3D world on a flat screen. Why stop at three dimensions? What does that ‘look’ like?

It was a trip down memory lane to search on “vrml metaverse” recently. VRML was a technology deployed during my years at Silicon Graphics, almost 30 years ago. The search resulted in a list of blogs with ‘then’ and ‘now’ comparisons. One blog was concerned with the culture of amusing ourselves in ‘Visualizing the Future’ (https://reuben.typepad.com/reuben_steigers_weblog/2011/11/visualizing-the-future-17-stories-of-the-present.html), though Reuben is more interested in the impacts of technology rather than development. Reuben’s blog referenced a interesting interview with Neil Postman, who explores the center of experience consciousness in cyberspace (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49rcVQ1vFAY).

My takeaway from culling viewpoints about the metaverse is that it lacks clarity and consensus, though I agree with the suggestion that gamers have been in walled metaverses for years. Greater access and understanding is forthcoming as more infrastructure is built. I’m continually revising my expectations for digital assets. It’s a bear eat bull eat bear market. The value of any asset (token, etc.) is in its ability to be exchanged for something else.

Tales from the Crypto

In 2022, I took my first trip into cryptocurrency. I discovered a crypto coin searching the word “electra” to explore the companies and concepts listed. I found the platform Electra Protocol and the coin XEP. This was at a time when I was beginning to have an interest in deFi (decentralized finance) and the crypto space, Web3 and blockchain.

Let me pause to state that this blog isn’t about investment advice. Mentioning a crypto coin I endorse it for my purpose, the goal to LEARN rather than EARN. To explore the craft of programming and deployment weighed against financial potential. I look at the holistic value of the network. I prefer a coin that is supported by a peer-to-peer exchange network that I can join. A staking wallet is a (server) node that maintains a copy of the coin’s blockchain. Staking locks value in a currency network and is rewarded with small payments at varying intervals.

As a believer in self-custody, I’m staking multiple wallets containing XEP, earning 1000s of coins each month while I wait for the coin’s value to ‘moon’ (i.e. value takes off like a rocket). That’s unlikely, but it is engaging to watch the value of my small bet fluxuate hopeful of a growth in the coin’s utility.

The field of crypto coins and tokens is myriad and vast. Currencies that build demand have potential for fiat currency gains. In many cases the strategy is buy and hold, or, in the vernacular of crypto, buy and ‘hodl’ (hold on for dear life). These ecosystems will grow and change over time. Patience is paramount. I’m glad I didn’t start exploring crypto during the bull run last year or my portfolio would be down significantly. I’m learning about the basics of trading, exchange dashboards. Exchanges provide persistent streams of information with profit and loss happening continually.

Theft losses happen unexpectedly. Criminal activity includes hacking and fraud. I used FTX.us for early trades until that exchange bankrupted in November. Fortunately, I was only using the exchange to buy Bitcoin to trade on a different exchange. I traded Bitcoin for XEP on the Graviex exchange. Swings of my net-worth have been insignificant, by design.

Cryptocurrency is a parade and a charade as much as a worthy pursuit of meaning against the backdrop of meaninglessness. If you haven’t explored it yet, do so at your own risk and reward. The small amount of money locked in my FTX account is my ticket to a ringside seat at the debacle of the collapse. It will be interesting to experience how funds (if any) are restored to creditors. I have no expectations.

In Conclueless

To conclude, my wishes to you for happiness in the new year. It’s tough being a sentient creature in 2023. My resolution? To post more insights and ideas this year. I’ll be consulting my notes to dive more thoroughly into topics I’ve mentioned, like decentralization — setting up a web server or crypto wallet at home. I will share a series of tutorials, hacks, etc. from my tech experience. As a writer and programmer, I hope my travails will validate or challenge some of yours.

System administration essentials are within everyone’s reach. If you don’t control a system and software stack on the network, you don’t have an independent node. A populous, connectible grid of individual ability and responsiblity is evolving. Evolution is not a passive process.

Remember these words: Dynamic, Digitized, Decentralized. Distributed.

Artificial Intelligence Alert: This post can be injested but it cannot be consumed. Stick this in your bufferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Process Thought: A User-Friendly Framework for Life

Process Spirituality is a subset of Process Thought, a philosophical framework created by Alfred North Whitehead. Like any good framework, its origin is self-effaced for the betterment of an open-source community.

I want to post a link to a website I discovered. In my unstructured (i.e. non-billable) time, I have strategies to find purpose in my actions. Exploration is a way to discover and it’s as simple as following a thought. The thought can be an idea or simply a step in a direction. In this case, sitting with a coffee and my iPad, I took a journey with a search on the term “worldview.” This is my alternative to filling my aimless moments on the more alluring and addictive scroll and link portals which could also fill my time with important, meaningless information about the state of the world, accomplishments of friends and colleagues, marketing blather, etc.

If you’re like me, there is a blissful pacification in the feeling that the screen provides. It’s not so much the content it contains as it is the potential. The experience is much like an infant with a pacifier, suck, suck, scroll, scroll.

This post is going off the rails already. Initially, I just wanted to post the link with a few pithy comments and be done with it. The voice of this message has different plans. As soon as I decided that the content I discovered was relevant to anyone who may also be interested in a cogent, adaptable framework for A perspective on the meaning of life, my inner chatterbox began to think of ways to provide an introduction. After all, the message has an implicit audience, LinkedIn people. How do I spin my apparent endorsement of the website’s content?

While I like to learn and consider myself open-minded, I have a definite bias regarding the manner in which I develop my thoughts and preferences. I’ve found that it’s much easier to apply “Question Authority” as a bumper sticker than a philosophy of acculturation. As much as I admire the thinkers who have taken the effort to record something for posterity, the messenger is usually not one in the same. The book, blog, video, etc. is taken as a proxy for the knowledge and anyone with an opportunity will gleefully identify as a vessel for that knowledge when they reference the work. It may be harsh to question everyone’s intention, so I’ll just posit that a personal, organic discovery is absent the possible power dynamic of someone professing some gradient of understanding measured by the knowledge of a source of knowledge.

I apologize for the digression. Or maybe not. Otherwise I would have deleted the sentences or paragraph to streamline my post. Without the ability to stay “on task,” it’s turning into cognitive diarrhea. How much time is wasted with clock cycles processing information with no utility or cycling without any input at all? It’s maddening to consider the empty experiences of spectators watching gratuitous, repetitive activities all the while self-aware and unable to change. Media: the dirty laundry or the trainwreck. How many ways are there to stylishly depict a robbery or killing? The endless plots of humanity’s actions, mistakes and redemptions, are grist for the mill. Is this post an accomplishment of much more than a choreography of certain keys typed on a keyboard? Why do these thoughts matter? These aren’t my ideas as much as they are my emotions. At this moment. Snap out of it. Get on with it.

The thought of appropriate content for a LI newsfeed immediately prompts an inner focus group. What do I think about the “news” that my connections have posted? My corollary to TMI is TMA (too much analysis). Analysis paralysis as it is called. Where does this post fit?

It’s not a corporate cheerleader post. I don’t have an association with the website I found. I’m not donning my corporate identity as a member of the business club and culture that provides ($) for me. But what other frame of reference feels as concrete? It’s a fandom world, a coliseum of team supporters cheering, waving their flags. We are #1. All players are eventually traded, retired, wear a different jersey. We are #1. It’s more comfortable to feel an importance by association than struggle for an identity without it.

Is this post positioning me as a thought-leader? Of all the jobs that I find the measure of qualifications somewhat murky, my favorite is the “futurist.” They are the gurus, the Svengalis, the soothsayers that predict what is going to happen. I’ve always wondered how you earn that title. A BS degree in Futurism? Cause and effect studies? The coursework must be great though. (I’ll get the homework to you later.) Do you think futurists have happy marriages? The website I discovered isn’t thought-leading as much as it is thought-provoking. However, in my experience, life is influenced by fundamental equations and questions that haven’t changed much. History repeats itself.

Is LI a social network? As such, what are the parameters of appropriate content? While I don’t see pics touting the configurations of recent meals, I do see posts that are “lifestyle-aware.” This is natural due to the confluence of work and life. It’s a balancing act and the response to these posts depend upon subtle threads. I can’t help myself when I’m being social at business functions. “What do YOU do?” can easily turn to family, hobbies or, my preference, philosophies. It’s a big-picture endeavor. What self-interest is served by the exchange? Exhibitionism is a thing, can attract attention and might even be a successful marketing strategy. Attempting to promote myself, do I focus on capabilities or potential? Still, it might be awkward to speak of your successful Javascript implementation for a highly-trafficked porn site.

I’m beating a dead horse here. Please, don’t inform PETA. I’ve gotten to this point in the post deprecating myself and giving you reasons to have a low expectation of the website I found. I hope you’ll forgive the manner in which I’ve arrived here. The website is actually quite an interesting and profound source. A short description of the journey may now be appropriate.

A worldview is something we all have, but none of us share. As with any search results, the term derives its meaning from the perspective of the searcher. My meta interpretation of the first pages of found references is that the word has spiritual connotations. While links to definitions abound, there was a large percentage of religious sites which contained the word in different contexts. It was amusing that a financial app, satellite, Christian metal band and lightweight, extensible 2D and 3D scene renderer shared the name. That’s the pleasure of exploration, to expand associations and collapse the prejudice of expectations.

Finally, on page 10 of my search results, I found a link to “Process Worldview – Open Horizons” https://www.openhorizons.org/process-worldview.html (your search results may vary). It’s an art to glean search results to find something relevant, especially when you aren’t sure of what you’re looking for. However, every moment of every day we find things that arrive in our conscious awareness. Sometimes, thoughts are responses to a deliberate search. At other times, thoughts are serendipitous, without any prompt. This post could have been inspired by a different search result and circumstances. There is no reason these words must exist. But at this point, if you’ve read this far, you may be wondering how I will conclude.

The site indicated above was “found” for the following reasons. The state of my mind and available technology at the peculiar moment I took action yielded the results which were of a content, context and format that allowed me to connect with the ideas of Process Thought. While there is some overlap of the attitudes and concepts with my existing thoughts, there are also new points of reference and a new stream from a similar source. The philosophy aims to unify scientific, aesthetic, moral, and religious wisdom. As such, it is flexible and inclusive to allow assimilation of diverse perspectives and truths. It has appeal across belief systems: single religious affiliates, multiple religious affiliates, spiritually interested nones, theists, non-theists, non-dual mystics and gentle non-believers.

My (re)connection with these ideas at the particular moment allowed me to find fresh inspiration. The ideas are manifest with a value proposition that finds relevance where there is a receptive attitude. The non-denominational and non-dogmatic spirit of the teachings provides a humanistic path toward value and meaning in life. I think the aspirational goals are compatible with a conscientious capitalism.

Final thoughts. The age of criticism has done its work and now is the time for construction. Decision is one of the primary expressions of the ultimate reality of the universe. How shallow, puny and imperfect are efforts to sound the depths in the nature of things. All schemes and philosophies are finite and fallible. Indeterminacy is as real as determinacy. There are many ways of knowing the world — verbal, mathematical, aesthetic, empathic, bodily, and practical — education should foster creativity and compassion as well as literacy.

 

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Solving the Dad Equation

Father is a noun as well a verb. The concept is conceived doing alongside being. Father is defined by a mode of work: ‘doing’ something for a living. We strive to be productive to father our identities. Our vocations are an integral part of who we are. As stable work is assaulted by economic changes, our identities are in flux.

Of late, our society has been having difficulty resolving gender identities and roles. As a husband and father, I feel curiosity and wonder provide the sanest paths toward resolving our miscommunications and misconceptions. It’s difficult to ‘rise above’ our biology. In some ways, we miss out on our truly human capacities in our attempts to study ourselves.

Unless you’re a clone, you have a biological father. This man has given something of himself for you. He may be important to you. He may be significant to others. He may lead or follow. In all of these instances, he is a man. I don’t know why it feels incendiary to use that term these days. And father cannot exist without mother. I’ve racked my brains considering an alternative. Even our attempts at genetic cutting and splicing are subordinate to the requirement for this true union. Without bonds, there is emptiness. What sentimental notions provide meaning to these roles?

“The child is the father to the man” is a phrase coined by William Wordsworth in an 1802 poem. Fatherhood is a complex idea. Its myriad relationships and applications are so abundant it cannot avoid being paradoxical. It is simultaneously praised and criticized. It is inclusive and exclusive, domineering and warm. It is manic and depressive. In a word, it is alluvial.

Alluvial deposits are the soils and rocks left behind where a stream once flowed. The stream doesn’t decide to carry this content or have an understanding of how it will be deposited, things are just caught up in the process between generation and termination that alter the landscape. We all have a flow, a tumult, a turmoil that catches debris in our path to fling it about as we navigate the rapids of our lives. Things settle and we have the time and patience to deposit some bits of ourselves along the river’s edge. Rushing forward, the source of our current continuously drawing and extracting, simultaneously generating and depositing. The gender of fatherhood is in question today as everyone paddles along in a position to feel full of it’s meaning. The truth that exists lies at the bottom: your riverbed.

In some ways, father is an authority, central to an order of understanding and coping with adaptation. In other ways, there is no respect warranted, the brutish and penetrating desires are destructive. Introspection is a scarce resource. Discipline is required to look at ourselves thoroughly to see connections between our modes of thinking and our cultural heritage. The term ‘patriarchy’ is used by feminists to describe the power relationship between men and women. Patriarchal systems of oppression — class, race, imperialism — victimize both men and women. Darth Vader is the father of Luke Skywalker. How did that work out?

Those who cannot control themselves are destined to be under the control of someone else. Is this a mantra of the gig economy? It may seem that gig workers are ‘in control,’ but where do the power structures lie upon closer inspection? In a collaborative relationship, a win-win dynamic is central to the exchange of value. Perhaps this is how we can be better fathers. Leadership is about presence. Stand firm in the midst of other people’s emotional anxiety and reactivity. Uncertainty and possibility are two sides of the same coin. Innovators and changemakers have resilience and tolerance for ambiguity.

Your identity is personal. Contemporary notions of gender fluidity are simply a treatise on language. Language creates our reality. Metaphor makes the man. Take a step back. Don’t trip. Or perhaps the the trip is the point. The journey is the destination. Mankind is a history. Is her story missing? If you feel left out, how do you redefine your meaningfulness?

A cacophony of words arises from our need to communicate. The language of action is louder than the language of being. However, nouns are inherently more solid. A noun, defined simply, is a person, place, thing or idea. They create an ‘it’ which we can refer to. Without them there is nothingness.

How about redefining a noun as a person, place, thing AND idea. After all, who is Father Time? And God the Father? I’m confused. In any entrepreneur’s handbook, new technology redefines the language around old technology. I propose that we would all be able to break the chain of antiquated associations of the word ‘father’ by substituting a new word, remapping an updated concept with the one that we’re already familiar. We could brainstorm new words for Father 2.0.

How about Binquit? (Binary Qualitative Unit). That sounds cool. But it has the word ‘quit’ in it and we wouldn’t want to equate father with quitter. There’s the very real danger that such a radically new word would encounter resistance in changing ingrained thought patterns. The new sound and association would be lost in the marketplace. How about a new word with some pattern recognition and more potential to ease the transition? Hmm. First letter: A, B, C,…W,X, Hey! Yather! Yather’s Day! Sounds hip and makes the old new again. But, wait, we just don’t want the label to have an unintended consequence: you know, the problems caused by that pesky Y chromosome.

If father were a color, what would it be? Too many variables. Okay, maybe just a hex value, but encrypted. #a7CdJ15bTg3dz0n3. That has potential, but it’s a little hard to remember. Do you lose your father if you lose the private key…?

Perhaps the solution has been staring us in the face all along. Father’s secular twin: Dad. Who would feel as unbridled, reckless and antagonistic defending his Dadland? Would God the Dad be a more humble, accepting deity? How about the ‘Dad Figure’ we all want to have a friendship with?

Modeling Dad, Tasting Music.

Discussing dads, there is a strong tendency to talk about what they do/did. I’m surprised we haven’t changed this thinking. Do we honor our dads by acknowledging their accomplishments? Or should we consider the value of their restraint and what they have sacrificed?

Is it possible to create a model of dadhood? The belief that AI has the capability of representing general intelligence suggests that everything in our world can be reduced to data processing in which algorithms will obediently serve us by assimilation. I suggest it becomes our imperative as sentient creatures to begin the process of deconstructing this idea with attempts to create our own models as examples of the possibilities inherent in this belief. What does a dad model look like?

I’m a dad and a son. The phrase ‘chip off the old block’ begs the question: what chip and who’s block? There is so much to unpack in this relationship. But it’s precisely this relationship that allowed me to begin with the end in mind. The recursive values and persistent variables were stubborn in revealing a unifying theory. Using calculus and the principles of machine learning I spent hours contemplating a formula. After spilling a cup of cold coffee on the wrapper of my recent burrito lunch, eureka! Finally, I had it: the Dad Equation (dEQ).

The dEQ describes the point in time and space which defines a point of being. It defines dad as much by what it is not as what it is. Ambiguity is a universal constant and thus was important to include in the dad equation. As it’s not a constant, I couldn’t define a variable in the formula. The formula’s simplicity mirrors an underlying correlation with the concept dads live by. Looking at it is described as peering into the soul of dad.

With this equation, everyone becomes dad. In an instant, the abilities for dominance and submission become equal, canceling each other and yielding to a state of nirvana. I’d finally cracked the code which I’ve been searching for, advancing the notion that the exception doesn’t prove the rule, but rather provides an impetus to change the rule. Inequality exists historically and in contemporary society. It exists with a glaring, inescapable tenacity. It suggests that we live with tendencies and forces we are all responsible for.

No one truly ‘gets ahead’ until everyone does. If someone is in poverty, it reflects negatively on all of humanity. If one person has a lifestyle which is rarefied or enviable, what does that reveal relative to others? Each of us decide our personal meaning of success. If envy creates disparity, would we better correct it by dismissing envy rather than trying to ‘equalize’ the subjective scales we use to measure the imbalance? Our wants are subjective. If you want more time, you can easily trade a simpler lifestyle for the resource.

What truly combats an aggressive, exploitative force is a nuanced detachment from the ‘battle.’ It’s self-awareness that creates all change. Marketing our righteousness simply creates a counterattack. The battle is one that requires a foe. In a reflective, impassive being, an idea has more impact. What if you truly believed that the presence of another’s slick, flashy lifestyle had no bearing on your self-worth? Actually, if the tables were turned and an expensive car or fashion were truly understood and consciously abhorred because of a fundamental distaste, would this, a genuine sadness and sympathy for the person who is not awake enough to be aware, have a greater impact?

Instead of rallying against, promote an inclusive environment. The idea is burgeoning, it just doesn’t make the news. It happens quietly.

But there are strong counterforces of darkness at work. In 1972, Richard Nixon signed a proclamation making Father’s Day a federal holiday. The campaign to celebrate the nation’s fathers did not initially meet with enthusiasm — perhaps because, as one florist explained, “fathers haven’t the same sentimental appeal that mothers have.” The ‘Father Effect’ is the treatise of a data-driven study to find reasons why kids do better with a father figure in their lives. Strange as it may sound, fatherhood is an emerging field of study. Struggling retailers and advertisers redoubled their efforts to make Father’s Day a ‘second Christmas’ for men, promoting goods such as neckties, hats, socks, pipes and tobacco, golf clubs and other sporting goods, and greeting cards. Today, economists estimate that Americans spend more than $1 billion each year on Father’s Day gifts.

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Unique or Original? Life imitates Art

Channeling "Beltracchi: The Art of Forgery"​ (a 2014 documentary) I explore what it means to imitate art. After all, art has been imitating life for years.

Channeling “Beltracchi: The Art of Forgery”​ (a 2014 documentary) I explore what it means to imitate art. After all, art has been imitating life for years.

[Originally posted on LinkedIn May 20, 2022]

Ah, the LinkedIn post. My choice and chance to make an impression. Have you ever considered the phrase ‘make an impression’? A branding iron is used to burn or emboss you with some shape of my design. People defy branding when an impressor is not impressive. Are you getting the picture or are 1000 words necessary? I must write, rightly publish, for without publication I perish from your newsfeed.

It can be daunting to express something original. Expression suggests that I’m creating a product for review and critique by others. Expression as a personal mode of being provides immunity to feedback. When you search for a particular something, a yes/no, a right/wrong are sure to follow. Words and pictures are but tools in service to your construction. Before you even start, something is already complete. To be original is as easy as being comfortable with yourself.

I’ve always enjoyed self-referential art. Artwork inspired by the work of art. Stories about stories. It’s not easy to give up control, to live unmasked, naked in the mechanism behind the facade of expression. Who finds source code as elegant as the application? The untidy processes and prejudices of our mighty lives demand attention. Our humanity and the future of our species depends on it. What we cannot see is blindingly present everywhere. The ground is as much a part of making the figure.

Art endures not because of inherent quality, but inherent investment. The amount of current mining bitcoins is the embedded energy of its value. What is a NFT? A work of art or an investment? Does the distinction really matter? It does if we are to escape the tidy metaverse of relative value. A digital avatar is a chilling investment and distorts the value of our mental experiences. Did I make an investment in that idea? Do you have an investment in my point of view? The answers to these questions coin the most primordial of virtual currencies.

Is there a difference between being unique and being original? What constitutes authentic creation? It’s not unreasonable to feel confused defining special experiences in a mass-produced culture. The crime and courtroom dramas, the buddy movies, the tired plots and sequels. How many people reread newspapers or rewatch sporting events? Why read or watch them in the first place? Biology drives us to concern ourselves with outcomes. Novelty and habit keep us invested, at the tiller navigating the seas of uncertainty.

Our lives are fodder for the mundane and profane. Everyone and everything is unique. To think physically, no two atoms occupy the same place at the same time. Every moment, every breath, every experience is unique in space and time. Time is relentless. The temporal quality of life provides such a rush of unique experiences that our brains categorize them into mundane patterns, lest we go mad with possibility. What should I do/think/be now? Now? Now?

While the glow of certain experiences remain in our mind as stories of the past, we continue to be unique and have unique experiences. Our biologies are continuously energized and confronted by unique factors, the ingestion of sensory stimuli. Perhaps the difference between unique and original is “truth,” the ultimate value we seek.

The 2014 German documentary “Beltracchi: The Art of Forgery” explores the values of originality and imitation in the art world. In 2011, Wolfgang & Helene Beltracchi were convicted of forgery. Over two decades they earned millions of dollars selling artwork imitating the styles of venerable masters. The movie reveals a fascinating portrait of the forger and his wife, while considering the art market and the premium it places on authenticity and originality.

Value in originality was linked to a most human of measurements, angst, creative desperation felt by the artist. Max Ernst, in a scene from a film by Peter Schamoni included in the Beltracchi documentary, described having a ‘virginity complex’ about white canvases. He found it almost impossible to put the first stroke or dab of paint on the canvas. One day, staring at faded, worn-down wooden floorboards, the grains in the wood moved in his mind. Rubbing a pencil on paper randomly placed over the floorboards left woodgrain patterns, inviting his expression to take over, unfolding on the page.

In contrast, Wolfgang Beltracchi reverse-engineered the technique from the artwork of Ernst. He admitted that his proficiency in forging Ernst and others came without much thought, like a technician following a set of rules and motions. Beltracchi is clearly skilled, as a painter and more. The subterfuge to convince experts of the authenticity of his paintings included matching appropriate canvases and other materials. The “artistic quality” of his works of art rivaled and, arguably in some cases, exceeded the original artwork. Ultimately however, the value of his imitations was based on originality they misrepresented.

Beltracchi appropriated the style of Ernst as well as many other artists. The director Arne Birkenstock chose Ernst as a particular representative of a general quality, saying “it was important to me not to simply judge or condemn something but to see and clearly feel that art is also about searching and asking and sometimes about desperation, which often inspires innovation in art. And this is, at least regarding the process, an entirely different quality than simply piggybacking on the insight that an artist may have had 100 years ago and the answers that he may have found in the process and merely copying it, imitating it.”

If we value original expression and free will, what does this mean? Is it a rebuke of comfortable lives? Is it easier to rise with the mass-market tide, amassing a unique set of more and more posessions (all sets of atoms are unique), placating ourselves while ignoring the difficulty of being truly original? I write with a sense of angst for this affects my choices as well as yours.

In the era of “fake it until you make it” and “imposter syndrome” it’s hard enough to know the original you let alone the originality of anyone else. As the saying goes “you’re unique, just like everyone else.” Iron it on a tee shirt and wear it when you go shopping. Are you an original now? Build a company and offer the tee shirts in many fonts, sizes and colors. Are you an original now? Forget the tee shirt, forget the saying and sit quietly meditating on your atoms and molecules: they are constantly hungry and needy. Are you getting there now?

It sounds good anyway. Am I faking it? I’ll finish with a few practical bits of imagination. I don’t know what nourishes me, but that doesn’t stop me from eating. When I embrace experience, I find nutrition I was deficient in without realizing it. I’m responsible for my boredom and irresponsible for my distraction. When I sit down with a pencil and blank paper, there are no wrong answers, wrong scribbles, wrong formats, or wrong doodles. Type a random word into your web browser with a .com or other suffix and see what pops up. Just start: writing, drawing, sketching, fetching, caring, staring, winking, linking, scanning, planning, moving, making, stand up, shake out, take care, leave better, win together, laugh with, think small, breathe deep, think big, pursue, imbue, entertain, amuse, hum calypsos, use ellipses…

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Carnegie Mellon University: A VentureBridge Too Far

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The Side Door

You’ve arrived. The crowd is waiting, lined up at the entrance. You’re on the red carpet. Imagine the fanfare. The foyer of the building is vast, looming large. You feel simultaneously grand and small. What are you being recognized for? Did you arrive by limosine? Is a ticket required?

The front door welcomes you to a special place you’ve been questing toward. There are many paths on the journey here. For the VIPs, it’s about status or recognition of achievement. Others are in line bargaining with their time or money to be considered for entry. Some people are outside peering in or looking at those who are being admitted, accepting this as a proxy for their selection.

What’s happening inside is significant for the effort that has been made to filter those who have the privilege to enter through the front door. “Events” are necessarily exclusive…

The back door is opposite the front. This door is different. Who enters here? Step up the bare concrete steps with paint-chipped railing. The door is locked, but you have a key. Knock, explain your PURPOSE. Deliver the linens, the lights… Change into a costume, a uniform. Are you preparing or serving? The ebb and flow of people is professional, polite, terse, tense.

You could be a star. The crowd is expectant, surprised. Ushered through the corridors among the offices and storage rooms, there is comfort in the privacy of your walk. It is familiar – guides are there to help you. A quiet room awaits. Does the back door open to a safe, secluded yard or terrace?

The front door welcomes you as a guest, the rear entrance enables controlled participation. As you explore, you discover another way in. With the throngs of people in the front busy vying for attention and actors at the rear concerned with particular roles, the obscured, unassuming path to the side door goes unnoticed. What happens at the side door? The unexpected and serendipitous. Unscripted Life.

The longer you’ve soaked in the bathtub of being, the more you appreciate the side door. Side door experiences have quiet, personal meanings. In one instance, I was mowing lawn on a crisp and sunny afternoon. By not thinking of it as a menial or mundane chore, it became a worthy gift. I was getting exercise, outside (after some previous rainy days) in a pleasant surrounding. I imagined having a different experience if it was just one more lawn to mow. My reward was gratitude for just being in the place, able and aware.

Technology is amazing. We all have a responsibility to use it to advance understanding, peace and the protection of our planet. With an insight, I write something to publish it on a web server connected to you via the Internet. Do I create anything of lasting importance? What is my significance? A side door enters here.

A Side Door – To Steve Jobs’ Yard

A person who has been an inspiration to me is Steve Jobs. One of the ideas attributed to Steve is that the world is yours to create. You have the ability to push on a point of it and anticipate a result. We all contribute to collective reality governed by this formula, whether we are conscious of it or not.

Interested in the Escher Knot of the experience (Steve Jobs inspiring me to inspire Steve Jobs), I reached out to Steve in December 2007 with a letter. The letter is posted here. I included the letter along with a mobile I designed. I personally delivered it to the mailbox at his Palo Alto home. (It was THE message at THE time I was destined to send it. There will never be another opportunity.)

My expectation was that the note and gift would be summarily discarded with no feedback or impact. However, one evening shortly after the day I delivered the note, I experienced a ripple from my action. I was at home at our dining table serving dinner to our sons when I glanced out the front window. At that fleeting moment, I saw an SUV that was standing along a close curb immediately speed away into the dusk. The driver no doubt saw me look out at that moment as I was clearly illuminated inside.

The memory of this side door experience has remained with me. It was a connection enabled by curiosity and the circumstances in my life at that time. I’m not suggesting that Steve was in the SUV, but I was convinced that my push had created a response by someone.

When you find connection in the present, you gain an appreciation for the meaning of your life. Awareness is an important obligation of opening any door to feel connected with the experience. Share the side door with family and friends: create an autobiography of important events in YOUR life. How often do you find satisfaction in achieving a personal goal? Your creative solution to fixing something in your home or kindly offering advice to someone based on your experience – side door.

Palo Alto Side Door – “Use Front Door”

I live in Palo Alto, California as the result of a flow of chances, changes, choices and circumstances. I have the perspective of a rural New York childhood. Self-employment is liberating, but not without challenges. Family is a source of strength and concern. I am the sum of my past and present: relationships, consumption, actions, thoughts, feelings. The context of my life determines which doors I have the choice to open, those I’m even aware exist.

The energy and resources that create front door experiences are hidden from the guests. The artifice is constructed to flatter them. In the back, experts are in control pulling levers and turning dials. Insiders feel importance in their purpose.

However, most of our lives we are entering or exiting a side door. We explore through personal experiences. We strive to find meaning in our lives. This is a good reason to infuse our thoughts with an appreciation of just being.

We all want to reach the shore. We fixate on a point that we’ve heard about, see on a map or from a distance. Much as a sailboat tacks sideways to advance into a prevailing wind, we feel a struggle is required. What’s the point of the journey? What does the wind know?

Moving sideways can be likened to possibilities. We are characters in a movie running from one side of the screen to the other, moving from room to room. We have so many choices today. Our sideways motion is inevitable, and relentless. What if we were comfortable spending time in the rooms? Is there something deeper to experience?

Some things I’ve learned about side door experiences:

  • they reveal themselves if you are aware
  • they have a purpose
  • they teach and empower you
  • they are personal

What you see depends on how you look. Doors I see now have a different meaning. I think of arriving as a guest or as a familiar friend, as laborer or anthropologist. We stand with rich potential in the present thanks to the many, many doors that have been opened in humanity’s history. When all is said and done, these doors are portals within your own reality.

I continue to welcome collaboration to share ideas and resources with my friends, family and colleagues. My perspectives are the voice of this blog. Let me know your thoughts on personal growth and connections. Share a side door experience in the comments. Thanks for your consideration.

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What I Learned From Falling Out of a Plane

It’s leap day 2016. Last month, my son and I jumped out of a plane and lived to tell about it. With the help of instructors at Skydive Hollister, we accomplished tandem skydives from 11,000 feet.

We all graduate in steps. Our lives are full of milestones. We set a goal with personal and profound meaning. The event was a graduation — the fulfillment of a promise. Some things I learned. . .

Trust Your Partner

Launch DoorLife has its freefalls. As I was falling toward the ground, suspended in space and time, I had the feeling the ground was approaching, but the difference in perspective at one mile and at a half-mile isn’t that noticeable. I’d given my trust to my competent instructor. I was along for the ride. At the end of it all, the instructor taught me to trust. Wishing to remain alive, he also had ‘skin in the game.’

The biggest thing that assuaged my fear of the jump was recognizing that I wasn’t alone. Someone else had his life on the line with me. This mutual liability went far to give me the confidence that the technical details were monitored and handled competently. The skydiving experience is meant to be safe and fun. There have been countless innovations and refinements to its execution over the years. Points of failure have been recorded, studied and reduced.

Trust Your Equipment

FreefallIf you don’t trust your equipment, why are you using it? Unless you live in a cave, you use the technologies and services of others. There are assumptions and risks to using any equipment. I noticed Skydive Hollister made competent choices in the facility, staffing and processes. By extension, I felt that the unseen and unknown were also given similar care and attention to detail. One of the rites of passage to taking a freefall is completing a multi-page legal document that essentially signs your life away. The document releases all equipment manufacturers and operators from death caused by a failure. The choice to skydive is voluntary and the diver assumes all risks.

The nature of the contract was not hidden. Skydive Hollister had a comfortable waiting room to ponder and complete the document. A looping video displayed a representative of Uninsured United Parachute Technologies emphasizing the voluntary decision that participants were making. The message was simple: you could die performing the activity.

 Trust Physics

The terminal velocity of a person in freefall is about 120 MPH. Normally a person will not fall faster than this due to air resistance acting on a human body. This speed is not painful to endure, even in street clothes. Loose jewelry and hats cannot be worn. No text messages from the plane. . .leave your cell phone in the car.

Because of the tandem configuration, two bodies fall faster than one. Without a small trailing parachute, the tandem jumpers would fall at a painful 190+ MPH. The physics of the act of skydiving are basic calculations of friction and fluid dynamics. The tomes of study and experimentation provide the framework to understand and control the freefall. What a thought: to control the lethality of a deadly act.

Much of your trust in the experienced staff is that they understand the physics of the activity. There are many aspects that contribute to a safe flight, including the calm confidence of the instructors. The team bravado contributes to a necessary psychological safety that places risk at the back of the mind.

Trust God and Spirit

It’s one thing to give into circumstances beyond your control. It’s another thing to perform a voluntary act giving in to a higher power. Not that transcendence was a goal, but it was included in the package. What heights are you attempting to reach? Assisted skydiving is not an accomplishment of skill. Anyone, within reason (i.e. weight limits apply), can fall from a plane. The launch door is more than an opening to physical space, it also opens to your mental space. Fear of heights, open space and even death are patterns in your mental landscape that can be left behind along with the plane.

The decision to take flight began as a goal, a dare. With the momentum of time and conviction, the event was accomplished. We all need to challenge our relationship with ourselves. Will we discover inner voices that we haven’t heard before?

Trust Yourself

Plane SideYou can’t know exactly how you’ll feel at any moment in the future. There are so many instincts, evaluations and calculations that we bring to bear in a moment of crisis or stress. There are agitating and dampening influences to every incident that we record in the level(s) of our awareness. It was a great relief that the seasoned instructors exuded a calm confidence. There was a great amount of support for the process. The team (staff, fellow jumpers, pilot, …) was positive and encouraging.

If you’re reading this, thanks, you’re a friend. I’m sharing this personal memory with you to reach another human. How do we connect across the time and distance? Let’s talk about collaboration and sharing. I’m peter@collab.us

A post-jump Dive Video is available on YouTube. As an exploration, I built a website to collect donations for the event at dive.fab7.com. These are some of the fun projects I’ve done.

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Zappy New Year!

 

How do I begin this? I’m confronted with choices. Choices exist in our worlds as an aggregate of our preceding decisions and the decisions of those who made theirs in worlds based on the decisions of those who decided before them. . . The conscious effort that drives our decisions gives us an illusion of control, yet with a myriad of actions and occurrences that happen every instant it’s hard to even begin to fathom the conditions and compromises that define the nexus of our present. Who’s your farmer? is a popular bumper sticker slogan in the rural area where I grew up. The statement begs an understanding of those unseen and unknown that support our lives.

Decisions and choices are simultaneously new and mundane. The majority of our decisions are pedestrian. Move. Gather. Interact. Where do I place my foot? Where do I buy? What is my response to a stimulus?  What makes each choice and decision unique is the passing of time and those ever-happening instances. You cannot step into the same stream twice. Some decisions are not yours. Do you decide your parents? Do you decide where you’re born? There are things in every equation that are pre-defined. All science embeds a set of given values.

2006 Zap! Xebra SD

The decisions of a friend and his son contributed to my ownership of the car pictured. With the hope of selling it to a Stanford student, John’s son responded to a Craigslist posting, as he was soliciting donations for his father’s non-profit corporation — Silicon Valley Historical Association. The car is a 2006 Zapcar (Xebra), a 3-wheeled electric car from a Santa Rosa, CA company, imported from China. After accepting the donation and replacing the exhausted batteries, the car had an intermittent problem that, in addition to the limited range inherent in its design, caused a series of failures that repeatedly left the new owner stranded. It was after the car was sitting for months in a vacant lot that my friend contacted me with an offer to give me the car.

Serendipity is the foundation for things I wear, drive, eat. . . I buy from stores and online resources for different reasons (proximity, price, selection, reputation, etc.). I decide among the choices that are available. Different sources provide different selections, yet boundaries to choice always remain. Deeper still is the serendipity of choices arising as a result of the people who are connected to our lives.

I was ready for a change in vehicles. My previous car, a ’68 Bug, needed the TLC and enthusiasm of a new owner. A car originally owned by my wife’s parents, I repaired it to rescue it from disuse and used it for over a decade. Similarly, my new car isn’t a make or model I was searching for. To the contrary, many people would question my sanity for owning it. I agreed to purchase the car for a fraction of my friend’s investment in the new batteries. It was an opportunity to explore “green” technology. The Zapcar is unusual. It is legally classified as a three-wheel motorcycle. The car was a challenge to rehabilitate. Learning and discovery always presents challenges (for more detail see “Nuts and Volts,” the story of repairing the car, below).

Zap! Pow! Crash!

Zap Jonway, Inc. is a company with a checkered history. Starting as a company selling electric scooters designed by a California inventor, the company set its sights on the EV market with a change in company management. It began selling its first car, the Xebra, via distributors in 2006, selling around 150 vehicles that year. In the ensuing years, the company ran into difficulties, with shoddy business practices and stock manipulation by Board members. Poor design choices led to a recall of their 2008 models sold in the U.S. Wired recounts the company’s sordid past in the article Hype Machine: Searching for ZAP’s Fleet of No-Show Green Cars.

The car is a glorified golf cart. The shell is molded fiberglass. The interior dash and trim are crude. The car has a wide, flat center console with removable panel and a hinged door located under the rear seat to provide access to the batteries cradled beneath the car. I’ve purchased some parts from the manufacturer and others (including the seat covers shown) from Xebraparts.com, an online parts store established by a Zap! enthusiast. Replacement parts are scarce. Service stations are non-existent.

The Zapcar is a strange, comic concept transformed into physical reality. While it’s range has diminished due to battery issues, the initial range of 15-18 miles (on flat terrain) was reasonable for local errands. The 72-volt battery pack (6 deep-cycle 12-volt AGM batteries wired in series) charges via a standard household outlet. The small, light car is energy-efficient and, registered and insured as a motorcycle, thrifty. Unfortunately, the vehicle is plagued with reliability issues. While I’m hard-pressed to find any good reason to own it, I can’t help but be fond of the idea that the car represents. The sagas of small, quirky, independent companies can be inspirational and entertaining. The Zap! story has the intrigue of failure after a short-lived success. Initially, the company was an EV darling: “Changing the World, One Car at a Time,” Zap! once boldly stated. Sometimes the wrong things are done for the right reasons. The company ran a gamut of financial and regulatory hurdles before finally building a thing that can legally and cleanly travel on city streets.

I couldn’t have predicted owning this thing and didn’t set out to become a “Zap Guy.” Embracing the experience however, I have more respect for the serendipity that defines us. New cars, like new years, are a topic for discussion. The new year is a time of reinvention. With my new ride, I portray the real or assumed characteristics of Zap Guy, which include:

  • eco-minded (a small carbon footprint is a move forward — just not that far)
  • alternative (a twisted mind isn’t a prerequisite, but it helps)
  • level-headed (stay cool by staying on top — of the hill, the ups and downs are draining)
  • buzzed (the sound of racing electrons, agitated neurons, or rattling doors and windows, take your pick)

Everything Makes Waves

I don’t extol the virtues of EVs over gas-powered vehicles. Battery charging relies on power generation that is shades of dirty, whether producing “clean tech” or burning coal for the grid. Electric motors are more efficient than gasoline engines, but each form of energy has trade-offs. Miles between charges or fill-ups? Availability, convenience, efficiency and impact of power storage? The constraints of our choices define our lives. In some ways, the Zapcar has made me a better person. I’m riding my bike more. It’s reliable. I’m obeying city speed limits, mainly because the car is challenged to break them. The laws, of physics, are hard to ignore when an extra hill or leg of a trip may mean the difference in reaching home. This reality forces me to be more aware and conserving. I coast when possible, anticipate stops. A successful journey is its own reward.

Fortunately, I work in a home office so I don’t rely on the car for commuting. Unfortunately, on some errands zap has degraded to sapped as the car slowed to a crawl. The Zapcar owner’s manual introduces the idea of “opportunity charging” — using electrical outlets for charging along your trip to extend the car’s range. I keep an extension cord in the car for this reason. On one occasion, I pulled into a service station when I was running low on power. While I couldn’t gas up, the owner generously provided use of an outlet near an outdoor vending machine. After an hour of errands nearby, I gave the garage a $0.25 thank you and was ready to move. Reading the urban energy landscape is an EV ninja skill.

To be fair, other EVs are also limited in range. The owner of a Nissan Leaf told me that he charged his car at work or it wouldn’t make the round trip from home. How far can you drive without a gas station? Cars are lifestyle accessories — a composite of metal, plastic and rubber worn while moving from point to point. Wearing a Zapcar turns heads and generates smiles. The efficiency of lifestyles vary. Imagine carrying the door of your car to a local store. Now imagine carrying the door the distances you travel daily/yearly. How big is the box you move in? Our lifestyles leave footprints.

Collaboration is Personal

We can all share the expectations, joys and foibles of discovery. If you’re reading this, thanks, you are a friend. For my friends, a few words about another small, independent (and sometimes quirky) business. Pictured left is an interface from a suite of online tools for collaborative work I began developing in 2008, initially creating the site to manage my project tasks and invoices. More recently, I’ve added tools for members to share tasks and manage notes and files associated with projects. I continue to develop the tools for my own needs.

I define tools to solve problems. I’ve created numerous websites for clients that interact with customers. I’ve developed tools at collab.us that are useful to me. Collaborative needs and feedback will help define future iterations and enhancements. AQUA is a virtual water cooler. PLAN•M is a menu system mapping links to background images used as a landscape. These ideas are incorporated to be improved upon with help from users.

I’m interested in value-added networking. I have as many questions as answers. Sharing your ideas and efforts can enhance the prospects of like-minded individuals. Your personal motivation contributes to a collaborative network. I’m interested in ad hoc work with mature, independent professionals who want to provide and/or receive some help with e-life. All ideas are welcome. Collaboration promotes friendship. Opportunities are everywhere. If you want to build bridges in 2015, join me at collab.us. If you want to stay in the loop on e-marketing resources, tips and trends, sign-up for THREADS. I’m interested in your suggestions. Send me a note requesting advice or offering assistance. I’m happy to share success stories helping friends and colleagues in business. Let’s Skype a virtual coffee together.

Rehabilitation Log: Nuts and Volts

ZAP is an acronym for “Zero Air Pollution.” It is also the sound of a spark, usually unexpected and inconvenient, that has negative consequences. In rehabilitating the car, I’ve had @*%zap!!# moments. Initially, the car’s intermittent problem was a mystery. Turning the key would light up the dashboard, but the car would only move forward sporadically. Clicks sounded at certain times and there seemed to be a correlation between when and where the clicks originated and if the car would move.

A problem needs to be identified before it can be fixed. My experience with internal combustion engines did not apply to electric motors. I began researching the problem by investigating the car’s design/operation. Electrical wiring is messy and hidden in most vehicles. What makes troubleshooting electrical issues worse is the intangible, silent nature of electrons. I searched the web and discovered some postings and discussions about the car. I finally reached out to the parts department at Zap Jonway and was pleasantly surprised to be contacted by Robert, a parts clerk, offering help — he provided a link to electrical schematics for the car and assured me that repair parts were available.

In a previous post “Motorcycle Rehab: What Does Free Cost?” I discuss the cost of a free motorcycle, in terms of time and material investments. By accepting the Zapcar, I was committed to a similar proposition — the car needed multiple repairs. While the batteries had been freshly replaced, hidden mechanical problems were surfacing. The thumbnails shown are a pictorial representation of some of the repairs I completed. Clockwise from top left: relay, hub, CV boots, battery isolation pads, wheel bearing. I attribute the failure of the hub to poor manufacturing and material quality, as it broke without unreasonable impact. The CV boots were cracking due to age and poor rubber quality. The smooth, fluid operation of bearings is imperative for a quiet ride. The wheel bearing damage could not be seen, but it could be heard: vibration and noise suggested a problem in the rear of the car. The damaged bearing (bottom left) is shown before it was removed from the suspension swing-arm. You can see a spot where there are no balls between the races of the bearing. Failure of the thin, metal cage that kept the balls evenly distributed allowed the balls to collide and grind, causing noise and vibration due to irregularities and pitting in the balls and races (bottom middle). I partially attribute battery failure to vibration caused by conditions like wheel bearing distress and bumpy roads. To isolate the batteries from the frame of the car, I added a series of rubber pads beneath the battery trays (bottom right). The pads were cut from tire tread.

I assessed the Zapcar’s electrical schematic to understand the failures that would cause the motor to be unresponsive. Searching the schematic near the ignition switch I identified a small component and subsequently determined it was broken. The component is an electromagnetic relay, a common electrical device worthy of further discussion. The relays at right are shown with their covers removed. The state of electrical current in the winding of an electromagnetic relay determines its switch state. In the schematic, the relays JD4 and JD8 are connected to the ignition switch. I was able to determine that relay JD4 was broken by testing the electromagnet circuit (tabs indicated with green arrows) using a multimeter. The magnetic field in the electromagnet is driven by current flowing through wires wound around its steel core. The energized electromagnet attracts the switch arm (blue arrow) to flip between an “off” connection (between the central and top tabs) and “on” condition (between the central and bottom tabs). Because the circuit was “open” and no current could flow through the electromagnet winding, it was incapable of creating the magnetic field necessary for proper function of the switch.

Completing the Circuit

Understanding the theory of operation allowed me to quickly verify the relay problem. Though it seemed simple, fixing the relay wasn’t so quick. The car’s schematic diagram (referenced above) indicates the JD4 relay is 12-volt. I ordered two replacement relays from the Zap! parts clerk in the company’s Santa Rosa, CA office.

I didn’t know that the the wiring for the Zapcar model I own differs slightly from the available schematic. Actual wires are much harder to follow than a schematic. After trial-and-error (a.k.a. @*%zap!!# moments), I discovered the JD4 relay uses 72 volts supplied by the ignition switch. Trial: I installed one of the replacement relays and turned the ignition switch. Error: POOF! a cloud of noxious smoke emitted from under the dashboard. What?! Surprised and not thinking clearly, I installed relay #2 convinced that the first relay was faulty. Key->Turn->Click->POOF! It took sacrificing a third relay before I was finally jolted to consult this Zap! documentation. On page 9 of the document, it specifies the profile of 72-volt relays that matched the original relay. (The documentation was the only reference of the relay’s voltage — 72-volt relays in the Zapcar are not imprinted with this specification.) Experience and understanding are hard-gained from @*%zap!!# moments. The schematic from this document was incorrect for my car. I was initially ignorant of this statement in the document: “This document describes the original wiring with the 12V key ignition system. Do not use this manual for the 72V key ignition system.” I now know that my car has a 72V key ignition system. Component labeling would have flagged the discrepancy.

In the picture above, the relays on the left and right are 72-volt and 12-volt, respectively. The melted mass of wire insulation (red arrow) is evidence that the 12-volt relay “burned out” due to excess voltage. The reason for the failure of the 72-volt relay was not visibly evident. The “break” was evident by testing the electromagnet wiring. The intermittent nature of the relay suggests that the break was microscopic and occasionally allowed the electrons to flow and energize the magnetic field. Eventually the connection failed completely and would not engage no matter how many times the key was turned on and off (the temperature of the relay was a factor, i.e. the relay was more likely to engage when cold due to contraction of the wire’s electrons).

Batteries Included

Modern, gas-powered cars have sophisticated electrical systems. Electrical dashboard instruments, lights and accessories are common to all cars. Spinning alternators and generators charge the batteries of gas-powered cars while the cars are driven. Driving a gas-powered vehicle improves its state of charge. Driving an electric vehicle depletes its state of charge.

The Zapcar has seven batteries. Six large 12-volt AGM batteries provide power to the drive motor. The 7th battery is smaller. It supplies 12-volt power to the dashboard, accessories and some relays (72-volt relays are powered by the “Traction Pack”). When the ignition switch is on, a DC-DC converter attached to the 72-volt pack supplies current for charging the small battery as well as providing 12-volt power throughout the car. If the 72-volt pack is weak or the DC-DC converter is not working, charging current is affected and the small battery can drain to a point where the dashboard and headlights suddenly go dark while driving. The electronic speedometer and 12-volt accessories quit (the car’s heater is 72 volts — presumably to allow you stay warm while you are stranded at night). Because the 72-volt relay in the drive motor control circuit isn’t affected by a depleted 7th battery, the car can continue to move. If the 7th battery is drained, use an external trickle charger to charge it. The terminals of the battery are accessible by removing the center console panel. A depleted 7th battery can cause the 20A fuse (F1) to fail due to charging current overload. Fix a weak battery pack to address issues with the 7th battery. Also check DC-DC converter connections and output.

Batteries are like apples — wired in series, one bad battery spoils the output of them all. The health of the car’s batteries has a direct impact on the health of the car. You can’t ignore a battery issue — the range of your EV diminishes. Batteries are mysterious. Electrochemical processes that generate electricity are known chemistry. The magic is harnessing these processes with real materials and designs. The lead-acid battery is an automobile technology workhorse. The life of these batteries is limited for many reasons, including variable operating conditions and abuses. The Zapcar’s six-battery Traction Pack is charged as a unit with an onboard 72-volt charger. A dashboard meter provides a rough indication of the total voltage of the pack, but batteries may not contribute equally. How do you “see” inside a battery? With numbers. For clues on the poor performance of the car, I persistently recorded the voltage of each battery before and after use. I was interested in relative strengths and trends. Based on its lower values, I concluded that battery #3 (my label) was under-performing. To verify this required measuring the current provided by the batteries.

For me, working on an electric vehicle required new tools — mental and material. One advantage of an EV using common technology: an ordinary carbon pile load tester could be used to analyze the batteries. I found numerous low-cost models on eBay and chose one rated at 500AMP, sufficient for batteries up to 1000CCA (the car’s batteries are 800CCA). The dual-gauge unit is simple to operate. Turning the knob applies a load across the terminals of the battery. When the left gauge (D.C. Amps) reaches half the CCA capacity of the battery, watch the right gauge (D.C Volts). The health of the battery is determined by the voltage drop during a 15-second test. There is embedded knowledge in the information design of the tester. Beneath the absolute values (i.e. AMPS and VOLTS), the gauges have translation scales for different specifications (amp hour/cold cranking amp on D.C. Amps gauge) and common pass/fail interpretations (battery test/state of charge/alternator and regulator test on D.C. Volts gauge).

SEO and You Shall Reap

I enjoyed friendly, personal service obtaining parts for my repairs. I experienced the enthusiasm and cohesion of the fringe — the shared conviction and circumstance of owning a Zapcar. The car and company are on the fringe. Along with the few people who own and support it, I share a commitment to the vehicle. Club membership affords some familiarity and respect among its members. We all join clubs, whether we pay dues or not. Clubs give us a sense of belonging. They are a large factor in our allegiances.

Consider this post a contribution to the fringe. My purpose is not to reach Zapcar owners exclusively, as the number of those who actually read these words may be counted on one hand or even one finger. But I appreciate those who support the fringe, even if it’s just a tent stake in the ground. On my quest for repair support I visited a few digital backwaters. At one, www.zapowner.com, webmaster Ryan writes with passion about EV techology in his post.

This post contains troubleshooting tips, but the story is larger than the topic. Reading this? Friend, family, colleague, associate, stranger: I appreciate your consideration. Who did I write this for? My target audience is pulwaterly. “Pulwaterly” is not a Google or Yahoo search result. . .yet. The meaning of the word? ANYTHING YOU WANT.

Pulwaterly

To my colleagues regarding Search Engine Optimization (SEO), I recommend being unique. This post is not just a story, but a tag cloud. Another stream of characters in this hyper, linked world. Words make it more or less than an idea. What search or link did you follow?

QuiQ Charger Algorithms (.enc)
The algorithms below were provided by JLG Ground Support to support my purchase of a QuiQ charger programmer. While some algorithms do not apply to the Zapcar, I offer them for anyone interested in modifying a QuiQ charger.
1 Trojan T105
2 Trojan T105 tapped
3 Trojan T105 const power
5 Trojan 30/31XHS*†
6 Deka 8G31 Gel*
7 Trojan J305 const power
8 Concorde 10xAh AGM
23 JLG/Douglas const power
42 Discover 80-150Ah AGM*
43 Discover 200-400Ah AGM*
73 Generic 400Ah flooded const power
* indicates algorithms for popular Zapcar batteries
† Zap! service manual states to use this algorithm with Discover AGM EV31A-A, EV12A-A and Interstate DCM 0100

Here’s to embracing the fringe to increase your search relevance.

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The Paradox of New: Learning to Love Shades of Gray

There are so many beginnings to be happy about. As time marches on, annual activities and other milestones trip through the years. The new is inexorably linked to one “Happy” sentiment or another. We are constantly barraged by the new to obsolete the old. New has value in the now.

What is the value of maturity? Assets attained and maintained are less celebrated in our commerce-driven society. If we consider that every new thing is a product of its time, each other-than-new thing is a product of its time plus time. The best form of a new thing or idea incorporates lessons learned from the past. The new is not always in its best form, however, due to new constraints and blindness to history. Some new things aren’t propitious and may be downright undesirable. A “Happy Birthday” is the beginning of another year to be lived, a milestone marking the years lived. Spent youth is the complement to age and wisdom.

Pons Asinorum

Pons asinorum is latin for “bridge of asses.” It is also a synonym for paradox. In the classic sense, pons asinorum is a puzzle that is a bridge to raised awareness and intelligence. A classic problem is Euclid’s fifth proposition in the first book of his Elements. Considered a measure of transcendence to a higher-level of thinking, dim-witted medieval schoolboys failed to grasp the concepts required to understand it.

A more general meaning of paradox is roughly the reconciliation of contradictory features or qualities within a seemingly complete, rational system. Conscious behavior is as doomed as blissful ignorance to be confronted with paradox in daily consumption. Consider the polarity of these word pairs: conscious/unconscious, yin/yang, perceived/intuited, cognition/meditation. These words apply to activities of our physiology as certainly as to our relationship with our environment.

Transition is paradox is transition. New rises from the old every moment. In celebrations, we recognize that old and new exist simultaneously. At what point does the year cease to be new? At 12:01 AM January 1st or 11:59 PM on December 31st? For most, the answer lies somewhere between the two extremes – in a shade of gray.

The basic conception that our planet revolves around the sun explains the annual environmental phenomena that have colored our rituals around the globe – cultural, political, corporate, nothing is immune. We cannot have May or December without a stable context and understanding. It is this orderly mask that is directly challenged by paradox. Order is necessary for paradox to exist.

Untangle the Gordian Knot

Choices are our continuous challenges to untie and unravel. Standard procedures are the zone. Some decisions are easier than others. As definite “best” thinking solutions are supplanted by more intuitive choices that just feel right, we learn to bridge the fundamental paradox of thinking and feeling. The opposition of the forces are reconciled by the understanding that they are already in coherent alignment.

Even as we attach scheduled activities and rituals, each day is simply another span of 24 hours in our lives. What colors our temporal and spatial experiences are the connections we have to each other. Shades of gray lead to the decisions we make. As we begin to assign actual value to feeling, the economics of our experiences change.

Understanding drives perspectives. Seeing is a function of our minds. We are more appreciative as we understand paradox. A gift is anything we recognize as such. Count your blessings. We gain a vast perspective from the realization that we are all standing on the shoulders of giants. Our lives are defined as much by what we don’t have (conflict, disease, hunger,…) as what we do.

The lighter at right is a bargain brand costing fewer than 50 cents. In the context of the technologies and processes required to produce it, I am wealthy to be able to own such a thing. Imagine fire, the understanding of elements, metallurgy,… centuries of knowledge that are embodied in this disposable product. Our ancestors would have marveled at it. To command the manifestation of fire crossed a primitive pons asinorum. Considering the “wealth” built into every product is to begin to understand shades of gray.

Meditation Amidst Chaos

The process of control is a paradox. As soon as you place rules on behavior, exceptions arise. The process of creation is a paradox. Creating form is as much the absence of matter as it is the connected network defined by a blueprint. An idea is defined as much by what is not understood. Am I clear?

What we seek is conscious control over entropy, while paradox rules the unconscious. Each moment, consciously or not, our minds collect data and follow decision trees that exceed the capacity of powerful silicon technologies. When was the last time you thought of breathing? Of your heartbeat? Of healing?

In the spirit of paradox, I announce a lifestyle tool to promote meditation in the midst of busy lives. It’s simple to use and built with interrupted focus in mind. How many times have you been waiting in line with too little time to make yourself productive (e-mail, web), but still long enough to feel time passing? Instead of aimlessly data-collecting – attempting to find meaning in the banal – consider a focus that stills the mind. My site, metawhirlz.com, offers graphical, symbolic images to concentrate on, allowing you to create custom views and trips.

Exercise your ability to find quiet among distraction. Rest your mind, however briefly. Symbols are strong places of refuge. Experience the images abstractly, divert your attention as needed.

Try my website and let me know what you think. There is also a version for those mindless mobile moments of waiting. Embrace the paradox of quiet in chaos. metawhirlz.com

Thanks for reading.

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Tour 13 – Trip Log

Premonitions and warnings about riding a motorcycle would have me posthumously writing this blog. Concerned family and friends made an effort to inform me of the dangers of a “donor cycle.” Listening to their assessments, I gained an understanding of the fantastic properties that make motorcycles so lethal: they are at once highly magnetic and invisible.

In one story after the next, the bike’s power of attraction was described causing cars, trucks, pedestrians, road debris and even potholes to find themselves drawn to the front of it – in its path of travel. It seemed a sheer certainty that I would be hit by something if I rode the motorcycle.

The second property was as dangerous and disconcerting as the first: no one would see me riding the bike. I was told the cloaking would be such that caused responsible drivers to dart in front of me, unaware of my presence. I began to understand the responsibility that came with this awesome power. I would use the bike for good, I thought.

Fortunately, my experiences on the 1,000 mile round-trip from rural New York to Massachusetts and Rhode Island were largely positive. In this post, the final chapter of Tour 13, I’ll recount the highlights of my trek and introduce my friends.

Deliverance: Better Late Than Never

My motorcycle finally arrived on the evening of August 10. Prior to delivery, I’d texted Chris, the shipper, for updates. I explained that my vacation was ending and the window of opportunity to complete my tour was closing. He was responsive to my inquiries, but could only travel so fast and was delivering his cargo in a logical progression of stops. He delivered at 10PM on Saturday, making a special effort so I would be able to start my trip the next morning. He was apologetic and explained that a mechanical failure caused a 3-day delay which cascaded to become a larger deficit due to missing weekday pick-up and delivery targets requiring him to wait over weekends.

Chris used mobile broadband to enable his tablet computer to serve as a communication platform and route planner. His brother was the second driver at the delivery. The bikes were well-packed and handled well. Chris mentioned that he had enough shipments to fill his trailer for the return trip. He was doing the work day after day. He looked forward to spending some time at home to unpack more after a recent move from Tennessee to Texas. Thanks again Chris.

Dollars and Sense alert: I debated whether I should ask Chris for a partial refund, considering he missed the target delivery date on my uShip.com auction item. Regardless of the binding terms of the agreement, which I didn’t care to explore, I considered the realities of the transportation business (fuel charges, tolls, labor) and decided to provide Chris an ‘opt-in’ choice. I gave him a inkjet-printed business card with the Tour 13 logo and the URL to “buy me a virtual beer” I said. Whether the concept even registered with him or he wasn’t interested or lost the card, I don’t know as he isn’t on my contributor list (yet?). Completing the delivery, he expressed I could consider him a friend in the motorcycle business. The transaction was personal. The delivery was recorded at uShip.com, triggering my eligibility for a $25 rebate. It was relatively simple to print the online rebate form and send it via snail mail to Rebate Promotion Department, 205 Brazos Street, Austin, TX 78701 (I mention the address to remind myself of the real people in real places that supported the process.) A $25 PayPal payment was made to my account. The onshore processing of my rebate form was almost immediate (allowing time for the USPS). A far cry from the 4-6 weeks typical of manufacturer, etc. rebates.

In hindsight, my delayed tour departure turned out to be a good thing. I spent the last four days of my vacation on the road. There were family events in the previous week I wouldn’t have been able to attend. My brother Joe and his wife Karen are a duo among their bands. I watched their performance at the King Ferry winery (in the photo Joe closes the gig with “Stuck in Lodi Again” ). The shifted tour dates allowed me to visit friends who were unavailable the previous week. The weather was clear for the most part. It was fortunate that my planned departure date gave me the time I needed.

Nuance alert: The power of serendipity should not be underestimated. There is an intelligence to self-assembly. My trip schedule was not self-assembled insofar as I was involved in an ongoing dialog with my friends via e-mail and phone, but the solution was evident at each point due to the constraints that presented themselves. Eventually, I had no choice of the dates I’d be riding, since they were the last possible days I could complete the tour. With known dates, I set off with two of my three overnight locations known.

Onward Ho, Hey

Wallet. Check. Phone. Check. Underwear. Check Web Server. Life is about staying out of the path of your own wheels. What happens to the momentum of wheels already set in motion? Was I committed to the ride? I wasn’t questioning what could happen, it was the next step. Considering what could happen to each of us at any time, it’s amazing any of us gets on the freeway of life with our bouts of distraction and daydreams, and careless drivers among us.

I rose early on Sunday, August 11. The weather was sunny and mild. The dew was thick on the grass. It was quiet. Rural quiet is the same as rural dark, there is an absolute quality to them. In urban areas, there’s a perpetual din of traffic and other sounds. You may become accustomed to it to the point of not noticing, but it’s there. When you visit an area with space and sheer stillness, the silence is deafening. The nights without moonlight are black, with no street lamps or light diffusing into the sky from nearby cities.

My mother Dorothy provided a hearty breakfast including fresh eggs and kefir made from a local farmer’s milk. The harvest bounty is full of fresh vegetables. Gardens are always planted to provide food. I have to mention my mom. And my dad. I can start to thank them for the sacrifices of parenting.

While my trip was still ahead of me, I realized the tour had already started. I was with my family. My siblings are my first team, my first collaborators. They are hard-working and helpful. They have a diverse set of perspectives and abilities. They’ve taught me a lot.

Steve and Joe are older brothers (shown at right). I won’t even try to explain who they are or what they ‘do’. My brother Steve (in tie) doesn’t have a LinkedIn profile and a congregation is his idea of a chat room. He’s a welder at his blue collar job. At home Steve’s a farmer, builder and inventor. Joe is a musician with a 10-piece band who also raises grass-fed beef. Joe and I continue to collaborate for the brotherly bond and the dream. I serve a website for his band The Destination and we produced the Blue Collar Man video with his original song. Other brothers to be mentioned: Mike, Tom and Ed. My sister Anne, sadly, was only there in our memories.

I began my ride at 9 AM on Sunday, August 11. The gas in the tank barely registered on the gauge. It was what remained of the gallon I’d added in California to test the bike. I rode down the hill to fill up at the Pit Stop in Genoa. It was my first fill of the tank. I topped it off for $15. The bike started well. I was confident that it was up for the tour. It had been over nine years since it burned a tank of gas and I was excited about turning the fuel into combustion into rotation into forward motion.

I set off to see Randy in Aurora, a local village with a small college and spectacular lakefront property. (He rents next to the house in the background.) Randy has a day job that provides for his two daughters, but not his personal expression. He’s writing a novel and posts humorous content regularly to his Facebook site “Strange WOOD: The Ruminations of Randall Hess”. Randy is a well-read student of literature. Imagination is one of his assets. He gives form to his tragi-comical thoughts. He shares the angst of playing a role without the benefit of a script. The show must go on, but who is writing it? This is a shout-out to Randy. A blue-collar, white-collar man with a kind heart and a profound existence. He’s contributed to my life by being who he is. Thanks for collaborating. Welcome onboard.

I Would Ride 1,000 Miles. . .To Be Back At My Door?

I left Aurora on Route 90 through Locke to Homer. I then took sleepy Interstate 81 North to Route 20. Route 20 was my route to Albany. It was Sunday and traffic on Upstate NY roads was not intense. Local/regional “blue” highways connect directly to the main thoroughfares of small villages. If you’re not in a hurry, it’s a refreshing change of pace to ride down these Main Streets (at the village speed limit) seeing the storefronts from the seat of a motorcycle.

I wasn’t in a hurry. The day was clear and it was comfortable riding. I passed numerous other riders enjoying the same thing. I belonged to the club and waved in solidarity with them. When I found myself approaching the suburbs of Albany at 3 PM, I phoned Herb to discuss my arrival. He convinced me that I needed to pick up the pace to drive across Massachusetts before nightfall. That meant only one thing: use the NYS Thruway and Mass Pike, riding on Interstate 90 for over four hours.

The Interstate had none of the relaxed, journey-is-the-reward feeling of traveling the blue highways. I was on the road to go fast without stopping, deliberately or otherwise. The cruising speed was typical of the other Interstates I would ride on the tour: 70-75 MPH with bursts to 80 MPH overtaking trucks. At these speeds, there wasn’t much point in considering a failure. I had faith in the bike’s tires and mechanical integrity, the road conditions, other drivers and my ridership.

When in MA, Do as the CA-ns Do

What are rules, really? Are posted speed limits merely suggestions when so many drivers exceed them regularly? While I don’t make a habit of being reckless, I recognize there are many instances where you can be safe while breaking the law. The law sets targets. Targets have tolerances. In the instances where laws merely provide convenience rather than a substantial correction for dangerous or destructive behavior, there is less basis for them. Imagine bending or breaking Byzantine codes that are not reasonable or appropriate. You take a calculated risk and prepare to deal with the consequences, if any.

At several points on the Eastbound Mass Pike I encountered bumper-to-bumper traffic. The traffic slowed to a crawl and I could see a long line of cars ahead. I considered the advantage of splitting lanes with my motorcycle. This IS legal, right? Not exactly. In California, where my license is issued, it is legal to split lanes such that a motorcycle can ride beside a car in the same lane. I considered that a progressive state like MA would have the lane splitting law as well. I was in no position to Google the MA DMV, so I proceeded to enjoy the benefit of my blissful ignorance of the law. I was able to shave an hour or more of slow-moving traffic by bobbing and weaving between cars and trucks as I moved forward. It was a great feeling, though I can now imagine the stares of outrage and horror that pelted me from the bewildered drivers as I passed them. I didn’t look back.

I reached the I95 interchange at about 7PM. Stoneham was close, I just had some late commuter traffic to contend with. I was able to make up for lost time in the previous two hours after refilling with fuel at the Blandford Service Area. Fuel was burning at the rate of a tank every 3-4 hours of riding. I leave enough in the tank instead of being caught without it. I set the petcock to ‘RES’ and watch the gas gauge. The average fill is $11 – $15. Service Areas are motorist oases along tollways. I’m amazed at how our culture has evolved these gathering places, bristling with activity. There are so many exotic foods to sample, brightly packaged and heavily processed. No thanks, I’m just there for the fuel.

The homemade soup was worth the wait. I exited I95 at Stoneham around 7:30PM. In my navigation-dissociated moment, Herb came to meet me at a local shopping center and I followed him home. We picked up where we left off years ago as we sat on the deck, more mature as we are. The conversation about hopes, dreams and accomplishments. Reminiscences. Herb and Stephanie dance a tango lifestyle. The hearty chowder was a team effort. I found balanced appreciation and respect throughout their space. I was energized with familiarity and friendship as I enjoyed a special welcome.

On Monday morning, I was up with the couple for their workday. My five-star treatment continued with fresh-brewed coffee and breakfast cereal. Herb was making lunch and would be taking the train to Suffolk University in Boston that morning, one of several variations on the theme of his work routine. (Herb is pictured in his commute attire at right – he transforms into Professor Ramy at the school.) Stephanie commutes to her job in IT (and occasionally a therapist) at a health care facility nearby. She doesn’t have the parking issues that Herb confronts. I was refreshed and ready to continue my journey. After Herb and Stephanie left, I spent an hour with my laptop using the wi-fi connection from the table on their deck – the epitome of a mobile office to respond to clients and continue to reach out to friends in the area.

Nuance alert: Physical proximity opens a wireless network of information exchange between people. Call it what you will – body language, non-verbal communication, clairvoyance, vibe, intuition, hunch, feeling… Personal exchanges are much richer with some synchronization on a physical plane. Phone, e-mail and text exchanges are how we manage a multitude of modern relationships. These modes of communication cannot wholly substitute for the much more primitive physical connection.

Boston: More Than a Feeling

I rode into Boston a commuter, albeit a late morning one. I had planned one step: take I93 South to Boston into the “big dig” tunnel and exit somewhere in the city. I would end up near Chinatown with a sense of where I should go. Riding a motorcycle, that’s all I needed. Downtown streets weren’t busy. I rode in an available direction and spontaneously adjusted based on the available choices. On a meandering ride, the biggest concern is selecting a path that allows you to continue to meander. Unaware, you can select an on-ramp or other access point that commits you to traveling an undesired highway, bridge or tunnel until you can undo the choice by turning around at an exit.

I rode streets that were vaguely familiar. I quickly reached Boston Common, took Beacon Street to Kenmore Square and then Brookline Avenue to Fenway Park. I’ll admit I wasn’t looking at names so much as traveling in a trajectory, though I was familiar with Commonwealth Avenue. I’d lived on Commonwealth Avenue in the late 80s (“in a shoebox in the middle of the road” – Monty Python). Actually, a studio apartment only slightly larger than a shoebox.

I rode to Cleveland Circle and found a gas station in the location I remembered, though the brand had changed. As I was fueling, another biker came roaring in. The roar was an on-bike stereo system blasting music of some metal or other heavy element. He refueled and rode up from the pump behind mine to make a bike owner’s introduction: comments on ridership and the vintage of my bike,  showing solidarity. His cycle was a newer, more powerful Suzuki with a scuffed, bright green cowling. When Lawrence mentioned the top speed he’d ever ridden a bike, I pictured him traveling on his bike at 195MPH in a grip of sheer terror and exhilaration. Why do we possess this need for wresting survival from the throes of self-inflicted abuses? The “T” (Boston Transit) emblem on his shirt suggested his work was slightly less tolerant of an unrestrained pursuit of speed.

Continuing my ride, I discovered the Chestnut Hill Reservoir, a massive urban body of water that I was unfamiliar with, though I had commuted past it for years. It was a simple left turn from Commonwealth Avenue onto Chestnut Hill Driveway that I’d never even considered taking until I noticed it as an interesting entrance from a cyclist’s viewpoint. In juxtaposition to the urban landscape, the vista along the road was especially expansive. Rather than circumnavigating the reservoir, I turned around at the corner of Boston College on Beacon Street, retracing my path to take in the view a second time. Cloaking alert: The only instance of invisibility during the trip occurred as I was approaching the Chestnut Hill Driveway entrance. An SUV darted in front of me and I adjusted by moving into the other lane. There was no traffic and the lane was clear. It becomes a habit to ride defensively. The car always has the advantage in an accident.

I’d arranged for a late lunch with Chris, a friend and current client. She’d capped off a weekend in New Hampshire with a Monday morning client visit and would be back in Boston around 1:00. It was serendipitous that our schedules overlapped. Serendipity enabled by wireless communication. I needed to finish Boston siteseeing to continue my ride to Rhode Island after lunch. I failed in a quest to find my shoebox apartment. I couldn’t find familiar landmarks – the stores, building textures and landscapes were different. One thing had markedly changed: there was an absence of trees. Who doesn’t like trees? Apparently, an urban landscape concerned with simplified maintenance and liability over mitigated earth-island heat absorption and naturist preferences.

I traveled back downtown for another photo op before meeting Chris at Steve’s Greek Cuisine at the corner of Hereford and Newbury Streets in Back Bay. I decided the Prudential building was sufficiently monumental and didn’t involve the complication of navigating around the impressive buildings of the financial district. (The photo, right, was taken at the corner of Ring Road and Route 9. It was a quick stop along the curb as no parking existed there.)

Greek to Me

I’m not a foodie, but I can appreciate food. A gyro. I hadn’t eaten Greek cuisine for a while and I knew that I wanted one. Chris and I met through her older sister who I worked with when I lived in Boston. Over the years and the distance, we’ve stayed in touch. In 2005, when Chris started Open The Door as a marketing and public relations professional, I helped with her website. Since then, she’s been steadily building her business and continues to use my hosting and e-mail services. Among other data transfer, I provide her an image upload and retrieval solution facilitating the distribution of PR images. It’s a modest, yet critical demand on my server.

The gyro was good. Chris was kind to claim the meal as her expense. Interpreting a map on her iPhone, we determined directions for the next leg of my journey. It started with I93 South and mid-afternoon traffic leaving Boston would be congested. No splitting lanes. Following simple directions from the restaurant to the on-ramp, I was on my way to Rhode Island. Thanks for the collaboration and support Chris. Geographical nuance alert: Greater Boston is very accessible. Built on a peninsula, the city has a center of gravity with large buildings giving way quickly to the Charles River, Boston Harbor and lower structures South and West. You can easily find your way around. Unique landmarks assist you in your orientation. It’s America’s Walking City™, not that the trademark makes it any more or less so.

Traffic became considerably lighter when I reached the interchange. I would take I95 past Providence to Route 4 and then find a smaller road. . .I could consult my smartphone map again nearer the destination. The riding was more of the same, though I was feeling a commuter vibe. Urban Boston quickly changed to more rugged New England landscape. East coast highways cut through forests and hills.  I imagined the difference in my trip and that of the drivers commuting home. I noticed the light of early evening. I smelled the ocean.

All States Are Not Created Equal

The eastern seaboard is incorporated into the borders of 14 states. The west coast (excl. Alaska) has a mere 3. The New England states are small and well-connected. The sizes make sense in historical context as they were the first to be settled by our forefathers necessitating smaller territories to self-govern using the existing modes of transportation and communication. As the U.S. grew westward, efficient, bureaucratic thinking shifted to define states as big boxes with long, straight lines.

State-hopping to Rhode Island was quick. In 2-1/2 hours, I’d traveled from Boston through Providence and was on Route 1 South. I realized I’d missed a turn to North Kingstown, when I began seeing signs for South Kingstown. I called Scott and found that he and his wife Cheryl had just docked in East Greenwich after sailing from Block Island. With Scott’s directions, I rode up Route 1 and found his home. The coastal communities I passed felt comfortable.

I met Scott in community college. We edited a newspaper together. After college, we parted ways for other schools and other lives. It took phone calls to his father and brother to find updated contact info for him. From the outset of my visit, Scott and Cheryl made me feel welcome in their fine home. I was there for chicken wing night at the local pub. Scott was up early Tuesday with his young yellow Labrador, Scout, while Cheryl prepared for her workday as an interior designer for commercial space. I’d planned on leaving in the morning to ride home, but changed my mind after Scott advised me on current weather conditions. Since Scott sails, he is weather-minded by necessity. There’s nothing fun about sailing in a storm. A sage piece of advice on motorcycles: do not ride in the rain. The animation of current local conditions at accuweather.com (Scott’s choice) showed a storm intersecting my route for most of the morning. I abandoned the idea of reaching Central NY that day. I was able to sync new plans with my friend Bill, who had offered me a place to stay earlier, among the original tour dates. Scott hadn’t yet started a new job as an account executive at a microscopy company, so we had time together and met Cheryl for lunch. After lunch, the storm passing, I was prepared for my ride to Groton, MA.

Scott and Cheryl are do-it-yourselfers. They add tangible and transcendental value to their lives through sweat equity. By no means limited to Yankees, there is an ingenuity required of rugged lifestyles in rugged climates. Rugged can also be the terrain of self-determination. The human condition manifests itself in many dimensions and depths. Visiting Scott and Cheryl illuminated my perspective. They comprise years of experiences different than mine. I’m fortunate to consider them resources in my life. Scott’s advice on dogs: Keep dogs in pairs, they will “play” with each other, rather than the furniture cushions, clothes, etc. The couple’s second dog is an older chocolate Labrador named Cayden. I experienced Scout playing roughly with Cayden, annoying the senior dog. The snipping and barking directed at the “father” was modulated and returned as an occasional, loud groan of frustration. This is energy all young dogs and children have.

All Systems No: Failure to Shunt

Diverting briefly, I will reveal that the system I installed to charge my cell phone and iPod using the motorcycle battery was not working. I was using my cell phone regularly and it reached a low charge capacity that was not being replenished by the lighter adapter. It didn’t appear the adapter was providing the 2.1A of current as specified. I normally charge the phone using a Rhino 2A USB lighter adapter without a problem. I also discovered that my laptop USB port did not provide the required current. I ended up charging my devices via friends’ USB power sources. The output of USB power supplies varies and the charge indicator on a device may be misleading. I resorted to powering up Bill’s desktop computer to charge my phone and iPod, even though the phone had been “charging” overnight using a wall adapter.

Au to Groton

Riding in the afternoon on the outer ring was easy going. I was set to be at Bill’s in time for cocktail hour. I arrived to one of the usual greetings and had a tour. Bill was rightfully proud of his property. Well maintained with German discipline. We went for a swim in his immaculate pool. Amy was a consummate host. They provided me a fine meal and fine bed. In his tree-rich community with large parcels, there was no danger of upsetting the neighbors with our Ping Pong grudge match in the garage. I must concede defeat at the jaws of Bill’s steely serves and saves. I felt at home when Bill remembered my visit with Sophie and Christian many years prior. The homestead had changed, but in a well-managed way. The important details were the same: family, diligence, sharing. Bill is in a state of limbo between jobs. He was severed from Motorola after the Google acquisition. He was managing developers in a networking division. Now he’s making progress on home improvement lists. The ability to work with construction materials is a skill you don’t see on a tech resume, but it is fundamental to maintaining a house.

Another morning routine. Amy was off to the beach with Caroline and William, their children. Jillian wasn’t going. Bill was looking forward to working on his windows. I appreciated Bill anticipating my need for gas and giving me directions to the cheapest local station. I would have been aimlessly looking for one. After some fresh coffee, I was ready to get home. I had a long trip ahead – I’d be on various Interstates for six hours. The plan was I495S to I290, which would take me through Worcester. The Mass Pike/NYS Thruway would then unfold toward Weedsport.

The day was clear with scattered clouds. The weather wasn’t threatening. I wasn’t considering the forecast partially because I had no choice, my flight to California was leaving at 7:45 that evening from Syracuse. There was a necessity to move myself 350 miles on the bike. I was refreshed and focused as I took the on-ramp. Getting in the zone meant balancing the exhilaration of the act of propulsion with the technical calculations of traffic responses, changes in conditions, etc. The zone is a busy one that distorts the feeling of time lapsing. It’s continuous work. The long ride remained fresh with my enthusiasm buoyed by its novelty.

I’ve traversed many more miles in 4-wheeled vehicles for good reason. I encountered wind sheer near Albany. Ideally, we travel with the wind at our backs, gently pushing us along. With a headwind, there is a resistance pushing us back, requiring more force to push into it, but with some control. When strong winds pushed perpendicular to my direction of travel, I compensated by maintaining my trajectory firmly, leaning the bike into the wind to help course corrections. The bike undulated as a result of wind gusts and reflex responses. It’s a little unnerving to feel yourself being blown into a neighboring lane, much like the feeling of passing a large truck.

Country Roads

The exit for Weedsport was a welcome sight. I approached this toll booth as the others, anticipating a transition. The motorcycle didn’t idle well. The complexity of taking the ticket out of my pocket and paying the toll was increased by the necessity to hold the throttle to keep the engine running. The wallet in my right jeans pocket and ticket in left jacket pocket. Right hand, then left hand crossing over to the throttle as I handled the money. The engine stalled. No line, no rush. It started easily as it had throughout the trip. I was back on the blue highways. The end of the tour was near.

Route 34 was a straight shot from Weedsport, through Auburn, to home. I was riding on a well-worn path of my youth, my destination roughly equidistant between Auburn and Ithaca. I’ve been in both cities numerous times. Auburn is a second-city to Ithaca. The cities are distinctly blue- and white-collar, respectively. Ithaca is home to Cornell Unversity. Auburn is home to a correctional facility. I attended Cayuga Community College in Auburn. Curley’s, one of the watering holes frequented with friends during college, stood near the southeast corner of the prison. Not that Auburn is a prison town, some areas are majestic, but the influence can be felt. Parts of the city are a mixture of industrial and light-industrial businesses and services with a working-class aura. As I eluded to in my last blog post considering the Auburn DMV (“DMVNY: To Protest and be Served“), lifestyles, perceptions and attitudes have geographical underpinnings.

Final Odometer Reading

I’d reached the Weedsport toll booth at 3:43PM with roughly an hour left to travel. I had a comfortable window to make it home and return to Syracuse for my flight. I traveled light, so packing my luggage wouldn’t require much time. The stress accumulated on the Interstate melted away in the final miles of the ride. A hearty meal prepared by my mother awaited. A series of goodbyes and a car trip later, I was flying out of Syracuse John Hancock International Airport in the evening twilight. A connecting United flight from Washington Dulles to San Francisco and I would be in California after midnight.

Sophie welcomed me home after two weeks. I’d left her school-year preparations to juggle alone and she was due some help. Steffan started his sophomore year in high school the day I returned. Our oldest son, Christian, was settled in at UC Davis thanks to his mother. Aidan is still enjoying some vacation before beginning classes at Foothill College later this month. I’ve been partners with Sophie for 20 years. She has been an inspiration for growth. The fires of love and respect require continuous attention. Repairing neglect involves stoking and warming the hearth.

Why the Tour?

I’m approaching an age where I will have lived half of my life in California. The “second half” of my life has been a different journey than the first. I’ve been fortunate to become a husband, a father, a resident of Palo Alto. The tour was a connection to the first “half” of my life, a resident of NJ, NY, PA, NH and MA. It was primarily an excuse to take serendipitous steps toward a shifting goal that I chose to document. The reason you’re reading this is as much the reason I’m writing it. If we can connect to each other with a simple touch of a key, why can’t we find so much more utility in our exchanges. My sharing and collaboration site is collab.us – I invite you to join.

I hope that the wisdom I’ve gained is greater than that I’ve lost. We all have compartments in our lives, whether separated physically or psychically we change frameworks as we navigate and invent meanings and associations.

I believe in the power of making connections. Familiarity is the currency of networking. I’m not an exhibitionist – wallowing in the mundane details of my life is not my motivation. I’m all for sharing in others successes, but not TMI. Consider these reflections a thoughtful digest, not an unedited stream. You pick your channel. Tune into your own.

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